WE say:
So guess what!

YOU say:
What?!?

WE say:
We are doing a show this week at one of the coolest bars in all of Chicago!

YOU say:
YAY!!!

WE say:
YOU SHUT UP!  SHUT UP!  SHUT….Did I tell you to talk again!?!  DO NOT make me come over there.

YOU say:
(weep)

WE say:
Oh God, Baby, we’re sorry we flipped out like that.  You know we love you.  We love you so much.  We’re just on edge because we’re so excited that we get to do some amazing comedy stage readings at the HideOut this week.  There will be prizes…you like prizes don’t you baby?

YOU say:
(weep) y-yes…

WE say:
And we’re gonna have two amazing bands play: Common Shiner and the BareHand JugBand playing with us.  Common Shiner is voiced by Morgan Foster and is one of Chicago’s favorite pop/rock bands.  Shhhh….calm down.  You remember Morgan right?

YOU say:
You mean Long Pork’s stage manager?

WE say:
Yep!  See, you’re okay!  And BareHand JugBand is one of the greatest Jug Bands in the country, or so says the Minneapolis Battle of the Jug Bands!  They are also an attractive band from thier spunky lady singers, to thier sassy Jug Player, and all the well dressed pluckin and slidin’ gentlemen folk inbetween.  Does this sound like a good time to you?  huh?

YOU say:
Well, I had plans on Thurs…

WE say:
But you’re gonna?….YOU’RE GONNA!?!?

YOU scream in fear:
SKIP THEM!  I’M GONNA SKIP THEM!

WE say:
See…I love you.

RECAP!

What?: “Hit Yourself In The Face With A Guitar!” a night of comedy stage readings by the Gentlemen of Long Pork.  Featuring performances by Common Shiner and the BareHand Jug Band.
Where?: The HideOut (1354 W. Wabansia Ave, 60642)
When?: Doors open at 8, show begins at 9
Why?: We love performing for you, there will be drink specials, lots of prizes to give away, and to raise monies for our NYC show!
Huh?: See now you are just asking questions to be silly. Silly pretty people.

Hello Pretty People

We were featured on Beyond the Pedway today where we talked about sketch comedy, why we do it and the anatomy of a Long Pork show.

Also, tomorrow is the big day! Tomorrow night we are opening for Mr. Harold Ramis!

Here are the details:

Saturday March 20th, 2010
7:30pm – 9:30pm

Emanuel Congregation
5959 N. Sheridan Rd.
Chicago, IL 60660

You can buy tickets here and if you use the discount code of “LongPork” you’ll save $10. However, we’ve found out that Gold Star Tickets is selling them for a low-low price of $20 so we’re not questioning it, check them out here.

Anyway, we can’t wait to see you folks tomorrow night. If we haven’t met you before, please take a moment to come say hi and introduce yourself, we love making new friends!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

We are insanely excited to have the honor to open for Harold Ramis at Emanuel Congregation this Saturday, March 20th at 7:30PM!

Harold Ramis will be joined by Aaron Freeman, a local Chicago comedian, who will lead their conversation on the meaning of life. No, big deal. Just the basics. Why are we here? What’s the reason we all love the smell of new markers? Why do dogs have better names than some kids? Simple questions I’m sure we’ve asked ourselves time and time again. Although, I imagine some of their questions may have more substance. Maybe.

Either way, we are excited and hope you can come out to see the show. It promises to be an amazing time.

You can purchase tickets from Brown Paper Tickets, use the code “longpork” for a discount!

You can also purchase tickets from Gold Star Tickets. They don’t mention anything about us, but trust us, we’ll be there.

We’ll see all of you pretty people there!