Hey all,

Charley here with a special announcement:

I HATE chocolate syrup.  HATE IT.

Thank you.

What?  Huh?……You want to know why?  Why would I hate this wonderful ice cream condiment?  Why do I hate the sweet sensation of it on your tongue as I lick it off the fingers of a hooker, or much more likely in my case, as I cry alone at night in front of a really emotional episode of “Parenthood” Tuesday’s at 10/9c on NBC?  Because of one word:

Splattertheater

Okay, let’s make that two words:

splatt ertheater

No, let’s move the “er” over:

splatter ertheat

No, I don’t think you understand, now move the other “er” to the end of the word:

splfuck youer

You know what, I’ll just write it….SPLATTER THEATER.

For those not “in the know”, Splatter Theater is the brain child of a bunch of amazing Chicago improvisers. One night back in 1987,  at Leona’s in Lakeview, they all got drunk and decided to do a Halloween show.   They had two goals: make fun of all the great horror movies that were coming out at the time, while also covering the stage with blood.  In one month they wrote and put up the Annoyance Theater‘s first show.  It’s so fun we are still doing it 23 years later.

So if you have a Saturday night free and want to come please do!  If you want to come and you want comps, call me, I get two a show.  If you don’t have my number, there’s probably a reason for that.

I love you….unless you don’t have my number….there’s probably a reason for that.

Charley

Hello one and all,

It is I!  The omnipresent blog voice of Long Pork with another chance to see Long Pork in all it’s Cannibalistic Glory!  We are in the TBS Just for Laughs festival as part of the Sketch-travaganza: Best of Sketchfest section.  Here are the details:

Saturday June 19th
8:00 pm
Studio BE
3110 N Sheffield Ave
Chicago, IL
Buy Tickets

Also our very own Zoran Gvojic is doing a showing of his videos featured on Lowcarbcomedy.com as part of Lights, Camera, Action, CUT: Comedic Short Film.  Here are the details for that:

Thursday June 17th
9:00 PM
The Lincoln Lodge
4008 N Lincoln Ave
Chicago, IL 60618
Buy Tickets

So come to both, come to one, but make sure not to come to none.  Yes, I’m proud of that rhyme.

It’s summer time pretty people!

That means there are lots of fun things to do in and about town including shows and videos!

The Gentlemen of Long Pork are keeping busy too. Aside from gearing up for Sketchfest NYC and our big road trip for it. We’re excited to announce we have a Improv show coming up next week at the Playground!

Wednesday May 26th 8pm. $10

The Playground Theater
3209 N Halsted
Chicago, IL 60657

Seeing as it’s improv it’s going to be COMPLETELY new material. This is only our second show improvising together here in Chicago so come see us!

Okay aside from that you should also check out our good friend Devin Keast in his one man show:

Devin Keast, Gentleman and Sunshineface - Friday night May 28th. This will be his closing night, it’s also $10 and also at the Playground. Devin is great, if you went to our Harold Ramis show you’ve already seen him perform and fill in for Seth. So how could you not go?

If you’re not doing anything this weekend you should check out some dramatic theater completely unassociated with Long Pork:

Sinnerman Ensemble’s Days of Late – Now playing at the Viaduct and closing this weekend. Sinnerman is a local not for profit theater company here in Chicago out of Steppenwolf, awesome people, some of which donated to help get us to NY  so go see their show!

John Morrison – (our photographer, webmaster, promoter and jack-of-all-things-not-performing-or-writing) has launched a new photo blog of his street photography for the Tribune. You should take a look: Focal Points.

Zoran – Put out a new video on LowCarbComedy.com! A few of us are in it (and by a few we mean everyone associated with Long Pork except Morgan and Seth.) So you should go watch that.

Actually… ya know what, since we’re such generous guys… here you go, we’ll just embed it for you. Here’s the link just in case.

Oh yeah… then there is this. But we’ll talk more about that later.

Okay pretty people, we’re done telling you what to do for now. Enjoy your summer!

HEY, I know you were hoPing for a really fun Zoran post.  Maybe even another Zack video, but no, I just have awesome news is all…

We’ll be peRforming this Monday (May 10th) at the Elbo Room (2871 N. Lincoln)!  Doin’ the funny right before us is Tiffany PuterBaugh, Drew Michael, Ken Barnard (a personal favorite of mine- CC*) and hosTing the night awaY will be Beth Stelling (she’s damn funny-CC*).  We are suPer excited to work with the Elbo Room, as they are One awesome venue and some of the nicest guys to work with…real Pushovers for comedy …seriousLy, we’ve had our way with them….. sexually. 

The night’s festivities start at 8:30pm, so we suggest a belated Cinco dE Mayo meal and then coming over for drinks after.  It will be a fun night of great standup and lots of new material from us.  How can you beat that?

Details:
What?: Hug City Presents: Long Pork at the Elbo Room
Where?: 2871 N. Lincoln Ave
Who?: Me, You, and Everyone We Know
How?: $7
Why?:  Ok, now your just trying to piss me off. (Lee might erase this…he loves negativity everywhere, except on his LP posts!)

BTW!!!  Can you find the secret message from Lee hidden in the post?!?  Comment the answer and you might win a prize!

CC*= Charley Carroll

That’s right pretty people!

Tonight is our first-ever probably-not-annual fundraiser!

“Hit Yourself in The Face With a Guitar!”

Come party with us, check us out, hit on us, and maybe try to take one of us home.

The show is $10 and it’s a fundraiser to help us send Long Pork to Sketchfest New York City! We’ve already been accepted, now we just need to figure out how the frak we can afford to get there. (Yes, I said frak, thankyouverymuch.)

In all seriousness we’ve got a great show for you folks tonight and we’re really excited to see all your smiling faces. For your $10 you’ll get to see two awesome bands who are graciously donating their time for us:

Common Shiner
&
Barehand Jug Band

On top of that we’re really excited to announce that we’re partnering with Social Media Club Chicago and are an official after-party for tonight’s SMC meeting! So come, socialize, rock out, network and have a great time! There will also be raffles where we will be giving away some amazing prizes. It’s all to support a really great cause (us) so come on down and have a good time. Maybe we’ll buy you a drink!*

Also, if you can’t make it tonight, or it’s now Friday and you’re just now seeing this in Google Reader you can still help us out by donating: via PayPal.

Here’s the details:

The HideOut
1354 W. Wabansia Ave
Doors open at 8, show begins at 9

*If you give us the money to buy it and one for us each. Sorry we’re poor, hence the fundraiser.

Long Pork with Harold Ramis and Aaron Freeman, originally uploaded by reallocalcelebrity.

Hello friends! We just wanted to post a quick thank you to everyone who came out to last night’s show with Harold Ramis and Aaron Freeman.

Special thanks to Emanuel Congregation for having us, especially Leah Jones and the amazing (and funny) Rabbi Zedek.

Extra special thanks to you, our fans, new and old. Without you we are nothing!

Stay tuned friends we should have some new show announcements coming soon.

Hello Pretty People

We were featured on Beyond the Pedway today where we talked about sketch comedy, why we do it and the anatomy of a Long Pork show.

Also, tomorrow is the big day! Tomorrow night we are opening for Mr. Harold Ramis!

Here are the details:

Saturday March 20th, 2010
7:30pm – 9:30pm

Emanuel Congregation
5959 N. Sheridan Rd.
Chicago, IL 60660

You can buy tickets here and if you use the discount code of “LongPork” you’ll save $10. However, we’ve found out that Gold Star Tickets is selling them for a low-low price of $20 so we’re not questioning it, check them out here.

Anyway, we can’t wait to see you folks tomorrow night. If we haven’t met you before, please take a moment to come say hi and introduce yourself, we love making new friends!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

We are insanely excited to have the honor to open for Harold Ramis at Emanuel Congregation this Saturday, March 20th at 7:30PM!

Harold Ramis will be joined by Aaron Freeman, a local Chicago comedian, who will lead their conversation on the meaning of life. No, big deal. Just the basics. Why are we here? What’s the reason we all love the smell of new markers? Why do dogs have better names than some kids? Simple questions I’m sure we’ve asked ourselves time and time again. Although, I imagine some of their questions may have more substance. Maybe.

Either way, we are excited and hope you can come out to see the show. It promises to be an amazing time.

You can purchase tickets from Brown Paper Tickets, use the code “longpork” for a discount!

You can also purchase tickets from Gold Star Tickets. They don’t mention anything about us, but trust us, we’ll be there.

We’ll see all of you pretty people there!